


Ineffable Husbands Playlist

by ZydecoVivo



Category: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Fire, Inspired by Music, Introspection, Letters, M/M, Requited Love, Self-Hatred, Sex Talk, Unrequited Love, Virginity, bottom!Crowley, top!aziraphale
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-10
Updated: 2020-04-19
Packaged: 2020-06-25 16:21:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19749358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZydecoVivo/pseuds/ZydecoVivo
Summary: A group (hopefully) of fics inspired by songs I put on my new Ineffable Husbands Spotify playlist.





	1. Undisclosed Desires by Muse

Aziraphale wasn’t sure how they had gotten on the topic of love and sex. He knew that he had not brought it up. Or at least he was pretty sure. The only thing he knew was that he was definitely drunk. And so was his drinking partner, Crowley. But here they were.

“I know that humans crave sex. That’s why Lust is such an easy temptation to accomplish. It’s just a suggestion of desire. Humans don’t even have to see someone naked and they want to swap body fluids. But it can’t be all it’s cracked up to be, right?” Crowley was babbling a bit, which happened frequently when he was drunk. But this tidbit made Aziraphale raise an eyebrow.

“Wait you haven’t tried it yourself?” It took Crowley almost exactly 3 seconds to process what he’d asked.

“No. I just have to seem like I have to get the job done. Why? Have you?” 

“Of course. Sex is not a sin when love is involved.” Crowley gaped a little. That was not the answer he’d expected. “Why have you not partaken? Sex is more your area if we’re being honest.” Aziraphale was truly confused. The demon turned heads everywhere they went. 

“I guess I just… well, casual sex just doesn’t suit me… and with humans, it would always be casual... And it’s not like there are many immortals around. And not that you aren’t appealing, angel, but I don’t think you want to stoop to my level. I’m not… pure enough for you.” It could’ve been a trick of the light, but Aziraphale swore he could see a slight pink hue in Crowley’s face. The demon’s eyes darted between Aziraphale and the floor. 

Neither man-shaped being knew what to say after that. They drank in silence until the bottle was empty. By that time, Crowley had passed out on the couch. He’d forgotten to sober up, so he’d have a terrible hangover tomorrow. Aziraphale sobered up before rising from his chair.  
He walked over to Crowley with a miracled blanket in his arms. After laying it over the sleeping demon, the angel traced the other’s face lightly with his fingertips. How could someone so beautiful and tempting not take a lover at least once? “Not pure enough” indeed. If only Crowley knew the impure thoughts that went through Aziraphale's head when he walked behind the other man. Or when the watched him gulp down alcohol. Or when he flicked his tongue out to taste the world when he was feeling particularly serpentine. Even an angel couldn’t completely resist those temptations that Crowley seemed particularly good at. 

\--------

They were drunk again. But Aziraphale made sure to keep the pace slow. They were just barely buzzed when he brought up the subject.  
“Crowley, I want to ask you something serious.”

“Anything for you, angel.” Crowley winked and smirked. 

“If I offered to have sex with you, would you accept?” Crowley froze. The angel never ceased to surprise him. 

“Are you offering?”

“I’m not sure yet. That depends on your answer.” 

“Angel, I can’t imagine anything better, but what if it makes you fall? Or what if you never want to speak to me again? Or what if…” Aziraphale decided to cut in.

“Those are non-issues. The only thing I care about is if you would say yes.” Crowley paused and swallowed. His mouth had gone dry.

“Yes.” Aziraphale smiled and stood gracefully. He deposited his wine glass on a shelf, never taking his eyes off of Crowley as he walked towards him. Every sinful thought he’d ever had about the demon was at the forefront of his mind. Every sexual fantasy. Every desire. He was now standing over the still seated Crowley. He knelt on the couch to lean over the other man and reached with one hand to caress his face. 

“Do you know why all of your excuses don’t matter? My dear, I’ve loved you for so long, I couldn’t imagine a world without you. You are so beautiful. Your eyes are so captivating that I never want to look away. Your stupid walk shows off your gorgeous hips. And don’t get me started on your arse…” Aziraphale had to lick his lips. He leaned his face closer to Crowley. Close enough to share breath. “And it’s not just your body. You love all of the children we’ve ever met. You’re the most selfless person in history. And you make my life interesting. I don’t know where I’d be without you and I don’t care to find out” Aziraphale glanced at Crowley’s lips and then stared into his eyes. “My dear, do you understand?”

Crowley was stunned. He wanted to refute everything Aziraphale had just told him. But the mix of desire and pure love in the angel’s eyes spoke the same truth as his words. Crowley felt like crying, soaring, running, but he just nodded. 

“Good” Aziraphale finally pressed his lips to Crowley’s. It was a slow kiss. At some point, mouths were opened and their tongues danced. It lasted forever and yet not long enough. When Aziraphale pulled back, Crowley felt dazed. “Follow me, my dear.” They made their way up to Aziraphale’s hardly used bedroom. The angel showed the demon what pure love felt like and the demon let the angel love him like he was truly worthy. Because maybe he was.


	2. Creep by Radiohead

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Snippets of Crowley's thoughts through the ages

I don’t know why I slithered to the top of the wall. It might’ve been curiosity. Maybe to gloat. I knew who you were. You probably had some idea of who I was, especially after what had just happened. But now I’m up here. Standing next to you in a more human form. I glanced sideways.  


“Well, that went down like a lead balloon.” You stammered. We did the usual sworn enemy banter. Until I noticed. “Didn't you have a flaming sword?” Your response made me turn and look at you. The angel who would give away their sword to protect humanity. It was then that I saw you. We’re both just vessels, of course. But you also look like how an angel should. Your hair is so golden it’s almost white. Round, rosy face with smooth skin. Eyes sparkling, even while you worry. You’re perfect. I have to divert my eyes a bit, so I don’t stare or burst into tears of awe at your beauty.  


We finish our conversation, both of us still unsettled about our respective actions. The rain clears. You fly down to your gate. I watch as you float down as gracefully as one of the white feathers that make up your wings. Perfect. I take my own leave into the desert beyond The Garden. I think of myself, my vessel. It’s handsome, yes. Tempting. Sinful. But it’s not beautiful. I’m just a snake. A thing that crawls in the dirt. I don’t belong anywhere near an angel so special as you. 

After running into you half a dozen times or so throughout the centuries, I am still pulled towards you. That’s why I suggested The Arrangement. Just to see you regularly. You blow me away every time. Luckily, I have my shaded spectacles now. You can’t tell that I can never look directly into your eyes.  


I know I am in love with you. That’s why I asked you for the water. When I first thought of the idea, I did have the same idea as you. I was just gonna drink it and get it over with. But the problem with that, Angel, is that I know you’d continue on without me. And that hurts almost as much as being away from you for too long.  


I just feel like I’m losing control. That’s why I want the water. Once Hell finds out how smitten I am with an Angel, they’ll sentence me to a fate worse than death.  


Maybe there’s another thing I can try? I think I’ll take a nap for a few decades. Maybe you’ll start to notice that I’m not around. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, and all that. 

This may be worse than Falling. My Angel. He’s gone. I drove him away and now he’s dead. Of course, an angel that loves humanity such as him wouldn’t want to go to Alpha Centauri. I just wanted him to be safe. I just wanted to protect the only thing that is truly worth keeping in this world.The only thing truly special to me. And I didn’t and now he’s dead. 

I’m sitting across from you at The Ritz. You’re eating one of the newer items on the menu. Seems like you enjoy it. I’m content to just watch the candlelight and satisfaction dance across your face. I quirk my lips at you and take a drink of wine. I swallow as you take a sip of your own drink to wash down your meal. “So beautiful,” I think.  


“I think you’re beautiful too, Crowley.” My mouth drops. You entwine our hands and peck my cheek.


	3. Burn from Hamilton

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crowley between "While I'm off in the stars, I won't even think about you" and "They killed my best friend" in the TV show.

I’m back in my flat. I can’t really remember the drive. Or the elevator up. Or walking to stand in front of The Box. Pain and anger will do that. My hands and jaw are still clenched. I think I’m shaking a little. 

_Not friends. Mortal Enemies. You go to fast for me, Crowley._ That’s what he’d said, even at the end. 6000 years had meant nothing to him. He was still choosing Heaven over me. Those bastards who have only used and abused him. 

I open The Box. 

Small scraps of paper. Some yellowed and wrinkled. Some still sparkling white as the day the paper came of the press. All of the notes were handwritten with the same beautiful, ornate writing of one person. Most of the notes were invites to eat, of course. I pick up my favorites at the top. 

“Dear C--, Look the humans have invented paper! So much easier than stone. Can’t wait to see what they think of next. Love A.Z.”

“C--, I’m sorry but I can’t give you what you asked for. I hope you’re alright.”

“Dear C--, Thank you. Wine? Love, A.Z.”

“Dear C--, Let’s have lunch. Love, A.Z.”

Lies. Worthless lies. I knew it was dangerous to love him. Beezlebub had seen the first note. 

“Be careful with him, Crowley. He’s still an angel.” I have no idea why I wasn’t punished for communicating with an angel, but I guess this was punishment enough. I can’t help but stare at all of the letters. Most, but not all, had been signed. “Love, A.Z.” I pick one up.

“Dear C--, I believe The Ritz has a reservation for 2 open at 7. Love, A.Z.” I crumple it into a ball and throw it away. No. That doesn’t feel right. 

How could you betray me? How could you betray everything we’ve worked for in the last 6000 years? Why do you value those bastards over ME? Our friendship, our work, our virtues, our vices, they’re all going to burn and you just let it happen! 

I take the ball out of the trashcan and eye the fireplace. I’m in front of it before I even blink. Close enough to feel the heat. Almost too close. I hold the note over the flames and let go. It drifts for a split second before the flames catch it. The little flame burns the paper slowly until it reaches the coals. So satisfying. So cathartic. Always loved fire. I grin like a maniac and grab The Box. I go to toss it into the fire when I see what’s left of the scrap: a charred “Love”.

I can’t do it. Unlike you, I can’t destroy everything. I especially can’t destroy the only pieces I have of you. The only parts I can keep. Maybe I can try something else. Maybe we can still fix this. 

The drive to the bookshop feels like the longest it’s ever taken. There are sirens, police and fire trucks. Your shop. It’s burning. Like I almost did to your notes. I hurry inside, but I can’t find you. Can’t sense you. 

Oh god, Aziraphale. 

I’m so sorry. So sorry. Please come back. 

I love you. 

I’ll kill them. They will pay for this.


	4. I Won't Say (I'm in Love) from Disney's Hercules

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I think we all know this song was playing in Aziraphale's head when Crowley saved his books.

I’m in shock, holding the bag of books Crowley handed me. I finally look at him after who knows how many centuries. His hair still the same fiery red color, easy to see even under the hat. I can glimpse the amber of his eyes behind the sunglasses. The fitted pinstripe suit that perfectly highlights his hips and his shoulders. My breath catches and I feel butterflies in my stomach.

_Oh no._

Well, I guess I get the prize for rotten judgment. I thought I’d be over this. There’s too much at stake. Too dangerous. I am an angel. He is a demon. And I am loyal to heaven.

_He’s your earth and heaven._

Shush you.

No, there’s no way this has happened. I can’t be… in love. Not with Crowly. Get a grip on yourself, Aziraphale.

_Why do you keep denying your feelings? Better to own up to them._

No. I will not. This is not happening. You can not get me to admit that I have feelings for...

“Lift home?” He aims his smirks in my direction. I can’t help but grin back.

Well, I won’t say anything out loud at least. It’ll probably fade. Better this way.


End file.
